You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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