I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Two words: nipple clamps
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