Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize