so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
