I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
