Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
