I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I want you more than these girls want KFC
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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