What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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