Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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