Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
