Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
