Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
