I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
