Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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