You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Randomize
