Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
