Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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