i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
