so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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