At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
