gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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