I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
