I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
