I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I need a beard to bite.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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