Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
