i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
