Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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