I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
