I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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