the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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