Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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