Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
