seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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