I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
