Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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