I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
