the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
