so explain again why im purple
no
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
