I'll bet she douches with gravy.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
