Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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