Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
