Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
