Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
