youre lurking in front of me
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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