Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Found your dick twin last night
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
