So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
