Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
