Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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