We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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