you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
