im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize