we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
