over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
