so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
