i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize