it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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