His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
