evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
