He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
