dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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