Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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