I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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